“It's been doing this all week,” Eric says, staring at his houseplant.
I'd shown up at Eric's carrying a toolbox because it makes me feel professional. Jonathan Alder, Horticultural Consultant. Of course, I'd feel a lot more professional if I'd ever consulted for someone I don't know, but whatever.
I stare at the plant, too. It's swaying. I think it's an aspidistra. I need to know these things.
“You got the AC on, man?” I ask.
“No. Well, yeah, but it does the same thing when it's off. Weird, huh?”
I kneel down to talk to the plant. Apparently it thinks it's actually outside, that the wind is blowing it. I try to explain that it's actually inside, but it won't hear of it.
No. The sky is my friend...
I stand up. “Well, you have a crazy aspidistra on your hands, Eric.”
“Oh, great! How do I tell my girlfriend?”
“My girlfriend. She gave me the thing. How do you explain to your girlfriend that the plant she gave you lost its mind?”
“Um. I don't know.”
“There's no way you can talk it off the ledge?”
Eric knows I'm a Green Speaker.
“I tried. Didn't seem to work. Sorry. I guess... just let me know if there's any change.” I pick up my toolbox and head for the door.
“Will do. Hey, let me know if your AC goes out again.”
Eric, on the other hand, freezes things. The guy has a decent superpower and refuses to go pro. Whatever. His choice.
I laugh. “Thanks. See ya, bro.”
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